Samantha Says: What Women Really Mean

By Samantha Risseeuw
Manifest Staff Writer

Guys! Have you ever had a moment when a woman has said something to you, but what she said didn’t actually mean what she said? Wouldn’t it be nice if there was something to help you out, like maybe a dictionary of the women’s language? Well, here it is the beginning to understanding women! Now ladies, this is for you too. This will help explain why he gets that confused look on his face when you tell him something, and you may even get a good laugh! After interviewing many people, researching on the internet and being a woman myself, I have compiled a list of words and their definitions.

The Woman to Man Dictionary!

FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. She has given up all hope that you will ever understand what she is trying to say.

FIVE MINUTES: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Don’t ask her again how long she will be; this may result in another Five Minutes. Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. Usually she expects you to be helping in 3 minutes or less.

NOTHING: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with Nothing usually end in Fine. Sometimes it can also mean you know what you did, so apologize!

GO AHEAD: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t do it!" and will end with the word "Fine".
a. (With raised eyebrows): This is a dare. If you do it, it will result in a woman getting upset over Nothing and the argument will end with the word Fine. In other words, if you do it you’re going to suffer the consequences.

b. (With normal eyebrows): This means “I give up” or “do what you want because I don’t care.” Of course you will get the raised eyebrow go ahead just a few minutes after she gives up, followed by Nothing and Fine and she will talk to you in about Five Minutes when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH: This is actually not a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing there and arguing with you about Nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

THAT’S OKAY: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. It’s not okay, you made a big mistake! That's okay means she wants you to think long and hard while she decides how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS: A woman is thanking you, do not question or faint. Just say “you're welcome.”

THANKS A LOT: This is much different from Thanks. A woman will say thanks a lot when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the loud sigh. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the loud sigh, as she will only tell you Nothing.

WHATEVER: This is a woman's way of saying you just don’t get it and leave her alone! She doesn’t want to talk about it anymore, you screwed up and she is mad!

DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT, I GOT IT: Another dangerous statement. This means that there is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but she is now doing it herself. If this results in the man asking, "What’s wrong", refer to #3 for the woman's response.

SOFT SIGH: Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. Soft Sighs mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

PLEASE DO: This is not a statement, it’s an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done wrong. You have a fair chance with the truth, so if you’re careful and think for a long time, you shouldn’t get a That’s okay.

Now you’re on your way to understanding the thought process of a woman. These few words could be the difference between being “in the dog house” and being the best partner in a relationship. Ladies, show these to your man, next time he may not get that confused look on his face. Guys remember these meanings, I’m sure you will be tested on them at one point in your life!